With the minute of you realising how much you have missed and and how far you have gone, a feeling of being controlled, even possessed, has fought that other feeling we were so worried about.
It all changed with this first argument we had one night, about me wanting to understand so desperately that you could not bear it. You then came, and after, became sick.
Now I sense no longer the same affectioned desire from you. I feel you are filling in, fulfilling my expectation, or better, fulfilling what you believe to be my expectation.
This is eating me alive. I do not even know whther there is any positive feeling left from either of us. Apart from fear, I mean, ever so negative and destroying.
I am just scared to be alone again.
And do I like it if you tell me, you adore me? Of course, I do.
I'll let you go any time.
And I will try to face this feeling of being put up to a task I cannot handle.