Out of all misery...

A Fairy's Tale


Nash's story was unbelievably strange. When her mother, a German student of the Russian language, had spent a violently hot summer in Moscow, she had just as violently fallen in love with a local book shop owner, an elderly widower with no other relation. Even though her parents at home would oppose to that idea, twenty-one year old Inge would get married after only one month of passionate affections. She would call herself Iliana from now on, and despite all prophecies of doom she would stay a life time and raise two children. Unfortunately, she and her husband died in a car accident, when the two children, both girls, were at the border of adolescence, only 16 and 19 years old. Nash, back than still Natasha, was the younger of the two.
The children, raised in a caring home with a lot of education, were not fit for life, and all they were left with was each other, the little book shop, that had always only just about supported them, and the knowledge of a fine German language, that they had never spoken to anyone else but their mother.
Tatiana, the older sister, felt responsible for Natasha and tried to make her study sensible subjects at the local university. But Natasha had never been interested in an academic career. All she wanted, and already had achieved through her father's teachings, was being a book-seller, and now and then even publish the one or other local literary outpour.
Unlike Tatiana, who got married at the age of 21, just like her mother once, young Natasha never showed any interest in men. Yet she did have an eye on every beautiful girl that entered the shop.
Tatiana, who became pregnant very soon, was quite uneasy with her sister's obvious affections.
But then, one day, Nash being 19 years old, a middle-aged German scholar came to visit the little book shop due to its rare publications he whished to study. The man, 42 years old at that time, fell madly in love with young Natasha; and even though he had always put his studies first before, and therefore had never managed to find a suitable lifetime companion, he knew for sure, he would never be happy again, if he could not have her, just like her mother once had known that book-seller Juri Gregorovich would be her destiny.
The scholar, Stefan Winter, a full professor of Russian literature, had come to the capital for a term or two, in order to study rare contemporary Russian literature. Of course, Natasha realised very quickly, why this quiet and friendly man kept coming to her little book shop. And even though she could not love him back they way he would have wished for, they developed a strong bond of affection. Therefore it did not take very long, when Stefan realised that Natasha had never been with a man, and probably never would.
Still hoping for any kind of solution, to be able to hold her in his arms, he asked her about her wishes in life, and she would not answer right away. Then, after some time of consideration, and aware of his reasons for this question, she answered, that she actually had everything she needed in daily life, even though she was, of course, missing love. But since her feelings were not "the Russian way", as her sister had put it, and because she had not the strength and willingness to fight a daily struggle, she had a proposal to make. She would agree to marry him, and even have two children. But these two times would be the only times he would ever touch her in that way. Beyond that, they could have a fine relationship based on true friendship, loving and affectioned. She would even give up her little shop and leave Russia with him, and live in Germany. That is, if he would provide always enough books for her to read.
Stefan did not have to think about it. He agreed to the terms right away, and soon found himself in a beautiful Russian wedding ceremony, laid out by Tania and her husband, the bride's relation, as it was customary.
After the wedding, Stefan took Natasha with him to his house in Frankfurt am Main, were he had lived all his life, and he made her a comfortable home. In their postponed wedding night he was very tender and caring, hoping that Natasha might be as comfortable as possible, and she was, even though both of them knew that this would not change anything.
Natasha enjoyed very much to get to know her mother's country, and she spent a lot of time visiting museums and walking around the town. Men would notice her, everywhere she went, and she would notice the girls, of whom some, unlike in Moscow, would look back at her promisingly.
When her period did not come on time, Natasha Winter made an appointment with a gynaecologist. With a smile, Stefan took this news, and hugged Natasha. That very night he died in his sleep.
Natasha mourned her husband's early death, and knew this grief would never leave her, just like the grief of her parents' death. Of course, Stefan had left her in a financially wealthy position, but the life she had tried to live, was gone, and the love he had given her, had died with him. She was alone.
Because of the funeral and everything that had to be arranged and taken care for, Natasha nearly forgot her appointment with her doctor. When she hurried to his surgery in the last minute, she suddenly realised the chance of Stefan having left her something to love.
But she did not even have to enter the gynaecologist's room, when she felt something of which she knew for sure, it was be her period.
In the following weeks, Natasha sat at home, trying to comfort herself they way she knew, reading for many hours; but the reading would not be as satisfying as it used to be.
When she reflected on her situation, she realised that she practically knew nobody in the whole country. Even her German grandparents she had never met, and would not feel related to. Returning to Moscow was, of course, some possibility, but even there, besides her sister, she would not have more than her books. The little book shop had been closed down since no one had cared for the amount of work it had taken to run it.
The idea of opening up a Russian book shop in Frankfurt, even though there were a lot of Russians in the town, was not something Natasha could agree to; and as far as German literature was concerned, she did not feel educated enough to suffice her requirements of working closely with texts, and in the literary scene.
One day, on the underground, back from the cemetery she visited quite regularly, Natasha saw a young woman enter the train. She was very pretty, and seemed just as lonely as Natasha felt. When she got off the train, Natasha followed her, not even knowing where she was. She had walked behind her about a mile or two along a little shopping mile, when the woman turned to her and asked her, what she was up to. Natasha did not think or hesitate. She kissed those beautiful lips right away, and when she was not pushed back instantly, but the kiss was, slowly but longingly, returned, she felt a happiness she had never thought possible.
When the two women got away from each other, the other woman smiled a faint smile, shrugged her shoulders and lifted one of her hands with a small golden ring. Natasha, still wearing Stefan's ring, did the same, and they both laughed. After they had introduced themselves to each other properly, they instantly walked a little further down the street, now side by side. Kathrin then asked her, if they could meet again one day. She would have to go now, and pick up her youngest from school, but she would love to meet again, though in a less open area. Since Natasha did not know any clubs or cafes or any other meeting place, she gave Kathrin her private address.
That was the moment, when everything in Natasha's life changed, and she became Nash. Kathrin did visit her one morning only two days later, and for the first time in life Natasha realised, that sex meant satisfaction in a way she had never imagined it possible. Now she understood, why in English (she knew not a lot of, but this) they would call it "making love". Kathrin did not return after that one perfect morning, and Natasha knew why. If she had come back, they would have helplessly fallen in love, and Kathrin was not prepared to give up her life, and her children. Natasha could not in the least blame her for that, and knew now, what her purpose was. She got herself some financial advice and opened up a bistro and night club. She gave the place a theme, as advised by her coach, and used the style of old American cars as a design pattern. Because a car was probably the most romantic place to make love, she used to explain.
And there is was, the name of the bar, and hers: Nash Metropolitan.
That is where Nash's Club in Frankfurt am Main came from, and Nash welcomed both men and women in her club, who had no concerns about gender but were in love with love.



© 2010
to be continued, if you want...