Monday, June 22. 2009
OPEN 3
I lied. There was a time when I loved, and was loved in the same way. At least I believed myself to be in such a love. You never know it till it's finished. And even then there is no truth in this statement, because the minute that he or she walks out of the door, you start making up your story.
I'm gonna make up two stories. And you alone decide, which one is true.
I'm gonna make up two stories. And you alone decide, which one is true.
OPEN 2
Did I say I wasn't gay? Oh, maybe I am. How pathetic can you be cuddeling a tumble dried towel instead of a breathing being. Why, say, just put it round your neck and it might support your sore shoulders.
What would you believe of the words of a fucked up old Ex-Junkie. Well, here you have me. Ask me anything, I've probably been there. Want to benefit from my unique experiences? I'll gladly enlighten you: Life can be shit. It needn't, though.
What would you believe of the words of a fucked up old Ex-Junkie. Well, here you have me. Ask me anything, I've probably been there. Want to benefit from my unique experiences? I'll gladly enlighten you: Life can be shit. It needn't, though.
OUT IN THE OPEN 1
Why do we blog? Because we've got something to say. I've got something to say, alright. But is this of any interest to the rest of the world? Probably not.
So why put this online, after all? Because we never give up hope finding the one and only person that might understand - all of it. Who can provide security and reassurance, even acceptance. Who is willing to provide all this! And who doesn't get blown away by the first gust of fate.
This is not gonna be a Never Been Kissed scenario. Infact I've probably been kissed more than most people. Beer-mat-wise, if you know what I mean. Nevertheless, I'm lonely now. Yes. But it doesn't mean that I am desperately trying to fill that gap in my life. It only means that I have to deal with one of the hardest situations in life, I have to fill those gaps myself or at least to a considerably bearable extent. That makes much more sense, anyway. Because even if you're not alone, you can be.
Who am I? A man? A woman? Does it matter? Not to me it does. Not now, at least. And the fact of hanging tits would surely be just as disturbing as a flat ass and that teeny weeny problem to get your best friend going.
I don't now what I am at this very moment. All I know is, I'm coming up to fifty, and this is the end of the world. (Especially beer-mat-wise).
Love is not for me, I guess. I cannot remember one time in my life when I was loved by someone I loved. There was always this gap that could not be filled. And maybe that was the problem, that I did not try to fill it up by myself. Truly, I could not make my mind up whether it's better to be the one who loves, even if you're not completely loved back, or the one who gives affection and attention to someone you don't really love with all you heart, but you know, will love you with every inch.
Justin has just left with a violinist. A fiddler. And no, I'm not gay. Which is a shame, if you ask me. But it's not a life choice, I'm afraid. That means I will have to live with the fact that this gap I was talking about is probably the one, men and women can never fill.
Wer lesen kann, ist eindeutig im Vorteil, sagt meine Mutter.
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This is it by the way. This is the beginning of this log. What's in front of this entry has been written before, and was only collected to have the full monty in one place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So why put this online, after all? Because we never give up hope finding the one and only person that might understand - all of it. Who can provide security and reassurance, even acceptance. Who is willing to provide all this! And who doesn't get blown away by the first gust of fate.
This is not gonna be a Never Been Kissed scenario. Infact I've probably been kissed more than most people. Beer-mat-wise, if you know what I mean. Nevertheless, I'm lonely now. Yes. But it doesn't mean that I am desperately trying to fill that gap in my life. It only means that I have to deal with one of the hardest situations in life, I have to fill those gaps myself or at least to a considerably bearable extent. That makes much more sense, anyway. Because even if you're not alone, you can be.
Who am I? A man? A woman? Does it matter? Not to me it does. Not now, at least. And the fact of hanging tits would surely be just as disturbing as a flat ass and that teeny weeny problem to get your best friend going.
I don't now what I am at this very moment. All I know is, I'm coming up to fifty, and this is the end of the world. (Especially beer-mat-wise).
Love is not for me, I guess. I cannot remember one time in my life when I was loved by someone I loved. There was always this gap that could not be filled. And maybe that was the problem, that I did not try to fill it up by myself. Truly, I could not make my mind up whether it's better to be the one who loves, even if you're not completely loved back, or the one who gives affection and attention to someone you don't really love with all you heart, but you know, will love you with every inch.
Justin has just left with a violinist. A fiddler. And no, I'm not gay. Which is a shame, if you ask me. But it's not a life choice, I'm afraid. That means I will have to live with the fact that this gap I was talking about is probably the one, men and women can never fill.
Wer lesen kann, ist eindeutig im Vorteil, sagt meine Mutter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is it by the way. This is the beginning of this log. What's in front of this entry has been written before, and was only collected to have the full monty in one place.
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(Page 1 of 1, totaling 3 entries)